A broken tulip

Oh Jesus.

When you are taken away, what is left?

 

Jesus, so many times I run to the place I expect to find you,

only to see folded cloths, maybe even bright angels, but no Jesus.

The arrant coldness of your tomb sends me into the garden weeping. I am the woman freed of demons, the one he called friend right before his death. I journeyed with Jesus and now he is gone. If I leave all for you and you leave me, then I am truly beggared.

When you cannot be found the tears are thick, the disappointment so raw

that I miss you, standing right behind me. You ask why I weep. But how can I know you outside of the grave clothes, you are not as I expect, and my back is turned – who can understand this loneliness?

Then you speak my name.

No one speaks my name as you do.

I turn and find you. Find you risen and glorified and beautiful beyond compare. Yeshua, you are doing new things.

Jesus.

Each time I weep at your silence, your withdrawal, your death in this world,

speak my name.

Let me turn from weeping to see you standing where I never thought you could.

Keep breaking out of all we lay you to rest in, and be our beautiful Saviour.

Be alive.

Amen.

John 20:11-18 “But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her.”